Ever wondered if you could change a difficult relationship just by shifting your own energy?
For years, every phone call with my father left me feeling humiliated and small. He would belittle me, intimidate me, and I used to hang up the phone in tears. I was deep in victim mode — and without even realizing it, I was attracting that very energy back from him every single time.
But then, I decided to run an experiment... on myself.
🧠 “Poor Me” Attracts More of the Same
When we’re stuck in victim mentality — the energy of “they always treat me this way,” or “I can’t do anything right” — the Universe sends us people who match that frequency. You’ll keep meeting energy that says, “You’re right. You are small. You’re not good enough.”
It sounds harsh, but this is how the Law of Attraction works:
🧲 You get back what you are, not what you want.
And so, I realized something important:
If I wanted to change how he showed up… I had to change me first.
💌 My Sticky Note Strategy: Reprogramming My Energy
I created 3 sticky notes and stuck them by the phone.
Every time I was about to call my dad, I looked at them:
✨ “Speak with love”
✨ “Fake it til you make it”
✨ “Smile”
I was determined to stop reacting, stop crumbling, and stop matching his energy.
😊 Why a Smile Changes Everything
Even a fake smile sends signals to the brain to release feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin. Your voice softens. Your posture changes. You become calmer, lighter, and more open-hearted.
This isn’t about pretending — it’s about intentionally resetting your nervous system and choosing a new frequency before you enter an old pattern.
Your smile becomes a signal to the Universe:
🔄 “I’m ready to create a different outcome.”
📞 From Hang-Ups to Healing: What Changed
He still hung up on me a few times in the beginning.
But I stayed committed to shifting my energy. I stayed calm. I smiled. I spoke with love — even if I had to fake it at first.
And one day… he didn’t hang up.
We talked.
We really talked.
It was the same man, but a different experience — because I showed up differently. My frequency had shifted, and so had the energy between us.
💡 You Can’t Change Them… But You Can Change YOU
This is the truth:
💛 We cannot change other people.
But we can change how we respond, how we feel, and how we show up.
And when we do that — when we change ourselves — everything around us begins to shift.
People stop reacting the same way.
New opportunities arise.
Peace replaces pain.
Love replaces defense.
You don’t need them to change for you to heal.
Your transformation is what leads the way.
If you’re stuck in a difficult relationship or feeling like a victim to life’s circumstances, I invite you to try your own “sticky note experiment.”
Use whatever affirmations help you rise — and smile, even if it feels forced at first.
You are powerful.
You are energy.
And when you shift, the world shifts with you.